Tail Chasing

South Kaibab Trail, Grand Canyon, 2019. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was my most recent descent into the Canyon. Normally I would have hiked at least once per year in the Canyon.

I guess I don't mind sharing that I've just gone through a break-up. I've always had difficulty both initiating and sustaining relationships throughout my life and it appears I will never outgrow it. Obviously, it's difficult and I find myself feeling the urge to make big decisions or to seek out another relationship. Based upon past experience, it's best to not go straight into another relationship quickly. Breaking up brings emotional confusion. I'm not in my right mind.

On the one hand, I greatly regret losing the relationship. On the other hand, being free of it feels liberating. Now that I am vaccinated, I've resumed my usual lifestyle of planning excursions and weekend trips. Even the planning is fun, and it gives me dates on a calendar to look forward to, because right now everything else seems down.

I subscribe to the theory that people who are too eager to travel probably have issues at home they don't want to face. I realize I may be an example of that.

On the horizon: a hike in the Grand Canyon, a visit to the Pacific Ocean, and more time with family.


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